"❤️❤️❤️❤️;We took her beauty, love and grace for granted," she said.
"What good are we all - just took things from her all the time."
Facing it all alone in the last moments is what's "eating me alive" -- Sure.
The lastness we didn't even think to guess wore her down -- True.
It's the same book we're in, but a whole different page and para. And what's sweetly odd is that we are far apart, as wide and long as generations, but I get you, you get me. The time alone we had around the last few months of your life brought me to think about how these years ahead would be with you. I mean, everyone had it but me. The way I'd have these years ahead needs you to be here, where I'd be explaining how this component work, linking it to your little ol' soul with wide ears, big heart, and empathizing ears.
This was absolutely a “rude shock and loss”.
“Cannot begin to imagine what it will be for you”.
“It’s funny for you to think that without any rapport that you cared to have, you think you are entitled to such things that come out of something as pure and honestly bound it is, the joyous love, the unwavering spirit of willingness and thorough caring to the sincerest limit? Don’t tell me it, just cause you are older than us”. Not wrong.
Let one weep on an intimate level. It's love rolling down in the mud and propelling through the sobbing clouds.
I still remember the darkest of the night you traveled alone to come here for me. It’s your willingness that catches the right beat and so, I’m left with the sight of it. What more can be asked for? Also, for many of the months of my life outside the sac one develops in, you were with me. Perhaps, our closure was of its own kind that it’s something that didn’t and wouldn’t recur anymore.
“At least, you’ve talked with those beings carrying your childhood journey for 30 minutes the day before it’s done. This couldn’t be better than seeing every move of yours and letter from you getting nit-picked and judged everyday these months. And for what? For their sheer inability to handle their very own seed, branch, stem and the unfruitful fruit it’s bearing and to have this construct, this home, become just the result of bricks, cement, concrete and metal,….?”.
“I’ve seen the continuum in your smile facing here(didn’t neck ache?!) as I was embodying humour in the unexpected atmosphere preferred you choose and you didn’t even know either. And more like these affirm why you weren’t around here. At all. Out of the purview here”. Sure. Something, even a small bit of it, can subtly cling on to you very firmly. You may be self-sustained, all able and a giving type of soul (and what not). That something is needed, nonetheless. Life is also about the worst. Before it’s almost over, keep the gems too, in your purview. Gems are rare. Got to care what is rare. Once it’s over or as you fortunately realize it’s close to being done, the degree of reversibility is the question now.
That one hell of a pattern lord. Now I don’t got any work there. That came like a trailer for your departure and went like whoosh. To move through this road sucks out the leftover calm in me.
Did you have to push off of the plane now itself? Like, now? Not before or after but, now? I’m truly
fateful.
Our forethought may just not mean anything anymore. Not anymore once the nature is done. Aren’t indications over now?
The route we sought, bought us elsewhere. To the drought.
Moreover, what’s the next device to hold on to? Hunting for required specifics. No frame yet. After some hours, I’ll get somewhere straight on alone. As of now, just in a day, the line of safety for the big chunk has been determined and verified throughout. P.S. Imagine 2 objects, where one of them isn’t functional anymore. It’s the one with which this chunk has been located in. The other is recently created and working fine. A doubt was that should one leave first and then get another one so that apt shift to the required place would happen OR directly get it? Leaving at the first may mean the disappearance of chunk? No. Clarified this for one final time and quickly initiated the needful. Got the new and free space (to access here in this space) after a few hurdles. Finally, sought out. An apt shift of the big chunk to the needful place in a matter of few minutes. It was baffling to have no option to leave as insisted but a quick look in here clearly said that we’re free of any alerts anymore. So, having a dysfunctional one as the main starter couldn’t be disastrous. No need to transfer anything to anywhere, let alone banging heads on ways of doing so. In within the space itself, got a hold of it and it was enough to shift the content up here. All intact.
A driving atmosphere is the key. Just a few days said enough. Can’t stay here to sought out something and forget the main thing. This ain’t gonna work for me. Now I deeply get the point of sayings like “Why did you stop yourself here? Get going. Let it be a growing curve. Where’s the platform, huh? It’s really a flat form”.
“Responsible and dispensable don’t go hand in hand. When it’s said to be the time, bring it on time. To specially call you for it and being told if I could send someone for it. Hmmm, not cool”. Sure, not cool.
Oh yes, you know my tear tank is empty. Don’t worry. It will refill. One thing that I do to stay alive enough is hydrating my self. I’ll be fine and so will the tank drown in a river.
“Um, all I can say is you were with me in the messiest and clumsiest of times. It’s now 2 years ago. I was on my work and after accomplishing it, we didn’t really see each other at all. It’s like we were personified so much that we didn’t literally exist”.
The frost of your gaze is love. The sound of your motherly tone, as continuous as that bird and as rewarding as the rain wafts through me. It’s the brevity in that emotion one prays to feel so as to truly breathe. When you feel locked of emotion, all you can slightly realize is that you need to moisturize it. You know you are unable to yet. You are just going, going and going, or is it just the time is? Sneezing off of your sanity. The time departs you elsewhere at every point but “I am what I am”. It may feel like insanity but it’s some outward trajectory negligible. More clearly, a centripetal force.
Take me on a tour of your roots. You know you’re a tree I’d like to see from the bottom you originate from. Didn’t I say you were the only one left?
This sun just doesn’t set. This moon doesn’t dim in any way. This spring is too lively to feel dead. But aren’t you gone? Oh no, already.
The danger as a result of disheartened nature is the irreversibility of reality. Nature can be oh so wild if we push it to.
Ain’t too long to be forgotten. All too short for aheart to feel full. A lot less I can only revisit in my mind.
“All the necessary guilt fell into place now?”. It needs to.
“With a little love, you will survive”. You could’ve survived. Oh lord, the tie of the bond has been cut so abruptly. Never ever maintain neutrality when you know you and/or your one has a priceless gem already out of your purview. That periphery is the thing. Sustain that. Beyond that, you know you were out already. You can do no more anymore.
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