The end of the (last) year remains unforgettable

For a stomach-stirring reason, sure, yeah.

And sure, I'm not able to just feel my way through and get it right, but here I am anyway. I could climb up the stairs today, and it's better up here. Perhaps it's all just numb. I'm feeling pretty peaky…finally hit about 4 to 5 sneezes now, and my ears are fully closed up. Thinking about these four days, including today…just wow.

On the first day, my body went through a purge. By yesterday, it felt like the end of 2022, back when I was awfully unwell. It was as if my body was trying to soothe my stomach by resetting it. The "almost" became a reality. The second time was the last time, and it was entirely water….just clean, liquid throw-up.

There have been times when I’ve consumed absolute s*it, but all in all, getting this sick remains rare for me. Now, it’s more about finding a comfortable sleeping posture than anything else. A "feverish" feeling is subtly setting in… prickly pains and unpredictable temperature shifts. “Karvaten badalte rahoongi saari din ab.”

The truly irritating part is that it’s daytime, not night. Night is the only time I can actually close my eyes and rest. My love for the nightlight is real. I just can’t do naps or sleep during the day.

And the "Deewana mastana Hua dil," "Jeevan ke safar mein raahi," "Nannu vadali neevu," etc in the bunch slowly began the next day, the 2nd day. (By the way, 7th sneeze now).

And then yesterday also included Jawaani Jaaneman(it's re-ya-lly a fast song. Something that makes your body move around), Tune O Rangeela (I knew this was played too often, during those DELL days {remember??!!} but the tune of "Naye hein Nazaare, Naye hein Ishaare" was like a beautiful spring season that I needed to have it. There was so much moving inside of me, but eloquently so. It wasn't like before (stomach situation), when it felt as though everything inside me would come out. These 2-3 days felt like six at least. హతోస్మి!

I came across a clip and his face looked familiar, but his name was on the tip of my tongue. After searching for an hour, its finally confirmed! I messaged him on Facebook years ago during Jamai Raja. This was right after Jodha Akbar, and since it aired around 8:30, I kept watching anyway. He suited emotionally conflicted, composed roles with a warmer side. I do remember he replied with a “Thank you.” I was shocked, wondering if it was really him. His profile picture was a selfie with a yellowish sepia tone. I’m here maybe because I could revisit those classic performances, from Jodha Akbar to Devon Ke Dev Mahadev, with CID slipped in between.

Mohit Raina is awesome, anytime, anyday :D He expresses so much depth beneath a cool, detached, effortless exterior. Organic. Rajat Tokas? Trying to find words now. Can’t understate this guy’s phenomenal acting chops. He’s more commanding, proud, guarded, intense, and sometimes surprisingly vulnerable. Now JA drove me to Delhi lol. I should’ve listened to the songs (In Aankhon Mein Tum!) and tuned into the serial instead. Both evidently put in the effort for roles that call for strength, subtlety, and a certain intensity.

Glad to share this now, as part of appreciating a few shows I watched years back. It’s been more than half a decade since Jodha Akbar came to its unexpected end, an end that was necessary and sad. All characters managed to do justice to the story till the very last moment. From discovering pure talent to witnessing the breathtaking performances of each one of you in JA, nothing about that experience is forgetful. The panache, the sophistication, the independent streak in the characters (which added to the drama and moods lol), and the unexpected turn into roles none of them probably imagined for themselves were all beautifully handled in the show. I remember recording and saving EVERY episode on our one and only TV, the ol’ LG and tata sky days. I reckon we kept deleting them because the storage was always full, especially since Devon Ke Dev Mahadev was also being recorded, so the poor TV had no space left at all! I wish I grabbed that full DVD set (saw Devon Ke Dev Mahadev! The store’s nowhere to be found. Gone are the days when cassettes, tapes, discs and whatnot thrived) set just to preserve well. What a memorable set of years those were, especially experiencing all of this in early childhood. We had such good years. We really did.

When he was relentlessly searching for Jodha, whether it was after she saved Akbar from the poison or when she left him, the evolution of his love for her and her own unwillingness were both depicted so beautifully. Same emotional core shown in totally different forms. Now, how can I not mention the background score? The whole soundtrack carried everything far beyond what anyone could’ve anticipated. It was instrumental in presenting Jodha and Akbar as intended, apart from the relationship it eventually evolved into. YT videos for the song were dreamy and out of the world 😊

Rajat had a very suitable tone and vocal modulation. His mannerisms worked. He articulated his emotions with good depth and purpose. The decision-making scenes, the psychological dimension, and even the characteristic silence/composure made him do full justice to the role. There was something so befitting about him for that character. Visually and emotionally shrewd, he started as a cold emperor without much of a grounding force around him. He felt unreadable and unpredictable. He felt… out of reach and overindulgent in closed thought. His responsibilities, reactions, outlook, expectations, and sense of reality grew more reasonable over time. They evolved with the storyline and complemented each other. Nothing felt off. Dramatized scenes are a tale as old as time though. One more thing: the setting and styling were unbelievably convincing and thoughtfully done.

On one hand, it was Jodha Akbar, and on the other, it was Devon Ke Dev Mahadev. Not to forget POGO (CIA!!! Sunaina!!! Check out my playlists! And Chhota Bheem duh. I was one of the many kiddos who watched it. I did like Pataliputra, Krishna, Kathmandu, Hanuman, Shaolin, and the earliest episodes), and Nickelodeon (Ninja Hattori 😊) and Disney TV channel (Best of Luck Nikki!!!). There wasn’t an option to record them…yet.

Most of the dragging and unnecessary filler were tolerable (kind of). Promos and teasers were great. Can’t find the early teaser of Jalal (not Akbar yet) entrance with the strings in the background ("Indian Intrigue", everybody!). They were captivating enough to NOT make me sit there thinking, “No! How many more seconds until the episode starts?”

A lot comes back to me whenever I think of JA, which itself shows how deeply the scenes are imprinted even after so long. Ashwini Kalsekar (the CID gal for those who know!) was immaculate in her role. Nook and cranny mattered. For something like that to happen, the writers, the music producers, the directors, the crew, and the characters’ own emotional landscape had to be in sync.

Loved the ambience so much so that this series drove me to Delhi. Being there didn’t override the experience of watching the show. A very quick experience at those high tourist-attracting places wasn’t fulfilling. Exception was the Yamuna river, with no one but me and her. I remember saying "Ok ma, let's go over there now." The river reflected the evening sun. Heading to that side made me feel really good inside. The intricate craftsmanship of the interior was incredible from that angle, and I took some time alone to take it all in. Ah, what a breeze that was! Add a very specific segment of the tomb that captivated me and mom. I'll leave it here. In another location, a painting in the corner of a shop stirred up some emotions. I vividly recall coming across a portrait of an empress that was so surreal I was drawn right toward it. It hung at the very back of the store, tucked away from where most people wouldn't think to look. It was regal. Imagine details that an old-world portraiture can capture. Parts of the forts made mom feel like its real. Similar feelings emerged when I rediscovered the word "Siyaasat" and looked it up on YT to play it for the first time….again! Fun fact: The only real way to relive your nostalgia is to grab a time machine or watch it again.

All I sincerely wish for them is that they continue choosing their paths wisely, in every scenario life brings. It isn’t about falling into the whirlpool of people's expectations. Hope they own their vision.

Among the many ways we remember cinema, these are a few “back then” films that effortlessly brought laughter and something to take away from them.

మీరు ఆప్యాయతతో ఏదైనా ఇవ్వాలనే ఉద్దేశం లేకుండా, “అన్నీ నావే” అని లాగేసుకుంటే, చివరికి పొందాలనే ఆలోచనకే అర్థం లేకుండా పోతుంది. ఏమీ మిగలదేమో అన్న భయంతో మితిమీరిన పొదుపు, కక్కుర్తి పెరిగాయి. మీరు దేనిని పట్టుకుని ఊగులాడుతారో, అదే మిమ్మల్ని లాక్కెళ్లడం మొదలుపెడితే, మీరు నిలిచినట్టే అనిపిస్తుంది. కానీ ఆలోచన మాత్రం అక్కడే ఆగిపోతుంది. అంతే. వినాల్సిన మాటలు కూడా చెవికి ఎక్కవు! క్లైమాక్స్‌లో మాత్రం అంతా అతలాకుతలమైపోయింది. పెళ్లికొడుకులు వస్తూనే ఉన్నారు. పరిస్థితి ముదిరిన తర్వాతే అర్థమైంది. మార్పు రావడానికి ముందు కష్టం తప్పదు. నాకైతే, క్లైమాక్స్‌లో తన బావ అదుపు తప్పిపోవడం మొత్తం పరిస్థితి కూలిపోవడానికి ఒక ప్రతీకలా అనిపించింది. - Aha Naa Pellanta

April 1 Vidudala: around 35:18, that melody was… magical. The film name was right on the tip of my tongue. Finally found it! There’s something spring about it, like petals drifting over skin in the luminiscent sunlight, a soft breeze, and a few raindrops. Floral.

Aa Okkati Adakku: గాలిలో దీపం ఎప్పుడు హ్యాండ్ ఇస్తుందో చూసుకో :) మనసు మారకపోతే మార్గం మారదు. బుద్ధి సరిదిద్దుకోకపోతే, అదృష్టం కూడా చేతులెత్తేస్తుంది. ఈత కొట్టకపోతే ప్రవాహం మనల్ని ముంచేస్తుంది. The father here is what he is because of his lived experiences, profession and struggles. His approach can feel “too much” if we rush to judge him. We’ve probably all thought like the daughter at some point, but then, wait. Dad is absolutely determined to make sure he is the one who sets things right. Direct lessons.

In Brindavanam, it isn’t about the house as an object. They can live without it. The issue is the manipulation and betrayal behind losing it, which is why getting it back is a necessary win. It’s about కష్టార్జితం and పశ్చాత్తాపం. The film’s got humour and seriousness to cure the problem at its root.

P.S. 2015*

Merged past and present review:

OH for the love of history, creativity and the archived documentation:) I was made to feel like I should ‘live then’. ALSO, who knows the past of our souls ;) This series simply spoke to me.

From the ol' school interviews and moments to https://youtu.be/BIqC-6pkT0o and this very early morning today, https://youtu.be/cktB9LoY-6g and https://youtu.be/0g73wMxgr7s, long lost doors were opened. An event during their marriage ceremony had a good teaser. The river scene (when she first sees Jalal) had the finest teaser. The episode too. Not a letdown. Nothing over the top. I remember “Future lies ahead, not behind” and the camera pointed to Jalal. That was a symbolic scene. Even during the ceremony when he wanted to her to see him before the marriage, how they enacted was on point.

One of those two videos takes me to the time I was on the flight to see, not through the TV screen, but something else. Before that, https://youtu.be/cktB9LoY-6g takes me to realize that these visuals couldn't be more reassuring of the memories I've made. For a split second, 0:38 reassured me of the lively memories they were. And wait, the tone from 0:29 and this idea is so good, so well thought out.

When I say researching all the texts, scriptures, and content on various empires....by, rolling on the నవారు మంచం inside home, ask how I remember that as if it’s a video in my mind? Late afternoon sun, and rusty dell laptop. Can’t get any better. Cathartic.

An empire where having just a few trustworthy people who could remind you of and tell you the littlest to biggest things is the ultimate boon. An empire that is too big not to need the finest eagle eyes watching out for treachery, missing information, and whatever lies underneath appearances. There are disguised witnesses and disguised reasons behind actions, removing which is always a herculean task. Under such disguises, the actuality of the situation is lost in the blue.

Rajat was hardly 21-22. Everything he must have done to “approach” the character tells you how much of its backdrop he absorbed. The first 100ish episodes specifically foreshadowed the sort of environment that that emperor would’ve experienced. Lonesome. Sinister. Slick. All about the business. Crude. Who’s got the upper hand? Who doesn’t? All about control and triumph. He was under control too. Controlling and controlled all the way. Materialistic treatment of everything and everyone. It’s a play. Pure play. Not funny though. Marriages being made in heaven/hell wasn’t apparent. No space for emotions and heart vs brain tussle. They were made for expansion of power, networks, resources, and capital etc (trust and loyalty existed but they meant something else. They didn’t come without crude manipulation, betrayals and control), WITHOUT joy, love, companionship, trust, respect, and aspects (plus their connotations) that we often relate to. Fulfilling promises may be relatable to some of us. Statement of victory/defeat and protection through use of courage/bravery in battles or use of brains in dealings mattered more. Most don’t necessarily think or get to experience magnificent lives for nationally expansive purposes, let alone the good, the bad and the ugly that come with it. But of course, the dialogues kinda get to you. Anyway, how the journey begins from there and slowly starts undoing some of that hell is what we can witness as the show proceeds. It already started with the choice of negotiation that other kingdoms didn’t necessarily get to have = when the relationship was decided between the King and Jalal, before Jodha or anyone had a clue. The king and queen were mocked. Their family was straight up disrespected. How I forgot that.

Around and before the Vishkanya saga, they’d gotten so good at acting it all out. It’s like, many times, if I’m hard on you, you’re done with me, and vice versa. And in the end, neither of us stop with the partial implications we’re giving out to one another. See, there is something unearned in this emotion you’re experiencing. Is it anger? Is it rage? Is it envy? Is it annoyance? Is it a distortion of your journey of experiencing something? The bigger question is, “To whom is this directed?” A visual treat altogether. Exuded it all from within, right out through their expressions. The plot did enable that.

Benazir-type threats weren’t purely fantastical. Those with intimate access to rulers were used in poison plots, and the much older visakanya tradition already imagined women themselves as weapons against kings.

This is a TV serial, so hey you know what I mean in this whole write-up by default :>…. Coming back, from smirks (when she sets those conditions prior to marriage and the time he takes to say…yes. Both Rajat and Paridhi portray the inner and outer reality well. Testing patience, possibilities and limits) to a smile exuding from within, he came a long way, particularly in terms of the meaning those expressions carried. He was internally preparing to marrying her but of course, not outwardly desperate. He was subconsciously opening up to a world that was asleep and that was put to sleep due to his environment. Over time, he seemed to feel that he’d found in her the right individual, someone he didn’t necessarily know he was looking for until he met her. That’s only something he can feel and explain. How he could do that, and how she could subtly reciprocate the thinking beginning within her as she stayed closely beside him, is what we could see. Rajat’s tone varied with the plot. Paridhi’s demeanor too. The internal path is realizing that he is slowly becoming estranged from that “heartless” tag itself.

The life-threatening weapons came in various ways and forms, including poison, but following that revelation, something in their equation became better. Not magically solved, but altered. Their companionship didn’t stem from pleasing beginnings, anyway. I remember the fierce self-assurance, self-importance, boundaries and stoic nature (not dull though) oozing through the screen, which left almost no lane for understanding between them. No cheesy romantic drama. They were GOOD on their own. Until the realizations come from within, there’s no fun. We had to wait until there were enough crystal-clear instances to bring them onto a common plane.

Coming to the Sujamal situation, which belongs to a later stretch altogether. That is where suspicion, secrecy, loyalty, wounded trust, and their already-changing feelings toward one another all collided. Jalal’s suspicion and Jodha’s response weren’t simply some continuation of the old “I hate you” state. There arrived the phase of circumstances leading to the need for reconciliation. Numbers 237-239 keep roaming in my mind for some reason. I’m not sure enough anymore to pin this particular phase to that exact episode. The Sujamal rupture and the immediate reconciliation stretch were earlier in the 200s anyway.

It’s bittersweet to watch Jodha understand Sujamal so instinctively but take so long to grasp how sour the whole thing looked from Jalal’s POV. Jodha knew who Sujamal was, why he was there, what he was trying to warn her about, and why she was hiding their meetings from Jalal. Jalal knew what he saw, e.g. secret meetings behind the temple, her recurring silence, this man entering the harem in disguise, and Jodha not naming him when he asked. And Jalal did seek an answer before the whole thing exploded. He tells her he saw her meeting this man and kept waiting, believing she’d tell him herself. He expected the intimacy growing between them to come with that trust. During the confrontation, his heart asks him to offer her one more chance, so he asks who the man is and why she never trusted him enough to tell him what was in her heart. Jodha’s answers didn’t help either. Does she know him? Yes. From before her marriage? Yes. From childhood. Does she love him? Yes. From there, it gets harder to untie. Jodha was tongue-tied at the single worst point possible, because Sujamal was her brother, he came with information concerning Jalal’s safety, and she was bound by a promise to not disclose their meeting.  He kept pressing her for an answer, trying to make her understand what her secrecy was doing to him in an unhealthy way, yes. Teasers were scary as hell.

The reality you think you are living, the reality I think I am living, and the reality everyone else thinks they are seeing. During that confrontation, both of them were speaking from sides of the truth that felt complete from where they stood. So much was going on within one confrontation. But let’s also recall that he didn’t arrive at the confrontation with no attempt to understand. He’s pretty much everything covered so far. The level-headedness survives into the confrontation and then goes out of the window as her answers start sounding (to him) like confirmation of everything he feared.

If there was truly “nothing” there, if Jalal was simply mistaken with no emotional investment beneath that suspicion, those meetings wouldn’t have torn through him so intensely in the form of hurt. Once something between two people stops being shallow, even the tiniest expectations become dangerous. Met or unmet, expectations started to exist. The trouble was that this was no nothing anymore so Jodha’s silence opened up a storm like never before, and the audience knew why. This wasn’t the thorough hate and friction of their beginning, where bruised pride and pure hatred explained a lot of what passed between them. Jalal knew he loved her by this point. Jodha was falling in love too, only starting to face what that meant within herself. And the timing was awful. He is asking for Sujamal’s identity, hearing her silence and her answers as something far worse, and finally sending her away. Right in within that wreckage, Jodha has to face why his trust, his hurt, and what he thinks of her affect her much. Her own heart answers it before she is ready to accept the answer herself. After the confrontation, she resolves to tell Jalal the truth, torn between her word to Sujamal and what the accusation has done to her marriage, but Maham stopped her from reaching him. Sujamal clears the misunderstanding later. Thanks.

Considering how displaced they once were from one another and how far they travelled emotionally, the show was worthwhile. Okay, moving on. The boat outing in disguise, and honestly most of the times they went around disguised, remember? I’m hazy on the chronology of every one of those scenes, but they were so good to watch. Becoming Akbar was sort of an unbecoming of the Jalal. Stepping outside the palace bubble gave them access to a world that court reports, filtered information, and palace politics can never fully offer. For an emperor, I think such an experience is extremely important. For a little while, the usual chain through which news reaches him vanishes, and he gets to encounter people and situations without the throne standing between them. Seeing some of it for yourself is GOOD. It is necessary.

For a historical snapshot, Akbar’s reign included a series of measures concerning the religiously mixed population of the Mughal Empire. Between 1562 and 1564, he ended the enslavement of the families of prisoners of war, abolished taxes on Hindu pilgrimage, and abolished the jizya imposed on non-Muslims. Rajput rulers were a part of Mughal service in growing numbers and received imperial rank and office. In Iqtidar Alam Khan’s reconstruction of the nobility in 1580, 43 of 272 nobles were classed as Rajputs and other Hindus. At Fatehpur Sikri, Akbar established the Ibadat Khana in 1575 for religious discussion. Its meetings started among Muslim scholars and expanded to include Shi‘a scholars, Sufis, Hindus, Jains, Parsis and Christians. In September 1579, the mahzar authorized Akbar to choose among competing opinions of qualified Muslim jurists when they disagreed on a question of Islamic law. The first Jesuit mission from Goa having Rodolfo Acquaviva, António Monserrate and Francisco Henriques reached Fatehpur Sikri on 28 February 1580. Akbar’s court also maintained a translation bureau at Fatehpur Sikri, where Sanskrit works were rendered into Persian. In 1582 he commissioned the Persian translation of the Mahabharata, which was known as the Razmnama. The court also produced Persian versions of works including the Ramayana and Rajatarangini. Around 1579-80, sulh-i kul, commonly translated as “peace with all” or “universal peace,” was associated with Akbar’s imperial policy.

Back to the show, whenever Jodha prayed to Tulsi Ma, particularly around that whole separation and reconciliation stretch, I recall the slightly blurry screen, closed eyes, and his presence. And the subtle yet intense transitions within the character itself, and how all of this goes with the 🎶, remain attached to them. Cinematography, set design, costumes and ornaments were as significant as the choice of actors who played their respective roles. Add relational, sociocultural, political, and economic scenarios too. More layers. Fun? No, call it spice. Just some popcorn for those who are tertiary to the scene.

Ashwini Kalsekar played the role of Maham Anga. But before her, Khan Baba deserves something of his own. Bairam Khan wasn’t Maham Anga in another form. He was severe, proud, and seldom politically dangerous himself. He often acted on his authority and clashed with Jalal, but the nature of that bond was different. Maham’s attachment to Jalal came with a very complicated mother/guardian angle. Her motherliness seemed to take a backseat whenever she felt her hold over him was being threatened. Possession could be the word. Jalal wasn’t merely someone she raised and loved, but someone she felt she had certain rights over, including his trust, decisions, what he knew, who influenced him, and how far anyone else was allowed into that space. Adham’s interests were tangled into this, so the attachment got much uglier whenever his position was at stake. She could look like his Bari Ammi in one instant and frighteningly vicious in another without either side deemed false. Pure motherhood? Ahhh no. There was far too much possessiveness in it for that. Possession that is. The way she embodied what Maham did, what she believed she deserved, how she justified herself, and how wildly she could shift between affection and calculation needs applause.

Jodha had her own individuality. She’s fierce, brave, graceful, broad minded, ethical, and firm about principle. Oh, remember those phases where everything around Jalal used to border on collapse, and she stood her ground the way she did? She wasn’t fearless in a fantasy-like way. The experiential idea of what it means to be an emperor was also explored by him through her. Jalal’s idea of emperorship was reevaluated through her. One connotation keeps coming back, i.e. getting rid of the poison without letting it turn you poisonous. Jodha came very close to living by that. Jalal’s displeasure in some of the further situations wasn’t senseless either.

Thus, internal betrayal is messy. The betrayer isn’t some stranger standing far away from everything. Jalal knew how to watch and listen before putting his point across and being done with it. With Maham Anga, that became harder and harder anyway. Even after Jalal discovered what she did during the Sujamal mess, broke their relationship and removed her authority, she went further into the Chand Begum, Nigar and Atifa conspiracies. Maham eventually faced the feelings and justifications she spent years building around the choices she made when confronted with the consequences of things she chose to do. Funny how the oscillation of this “ours” and “yours” works. Jalal was the child she raised, Adham was her son, and Jodha became the person she increasingly blamed for losing Jalal. The way Jalal dealt with her there, and how she reciprocated, is one of the best confrontations, so this hit hard precisely with all that history behind. Her whole life flashed before her eyes. As an audience, we often have a fuller view, but that view is narrow for each individual character. Gotta let nothing come in the way of truth.

On a side note, the whole Nigar/Shehnaz, and Chand Begum situation made the internal betrayal mess worse. Nigar believed Jalal was behind her mother’s imprisonment. In reality, Maham Anga kept Chand Begum captive, Maham fed Nigar’s suspicion against Jalal, and Maha Chuchak and Abul Mali found their own use for Nigar. Nigar’s conclusions pushed her further against her brother until she learned what was being done around her. The forces working on Nigar, along with the conclusions Nigar reached on her own terms, produced further chains of incidents. And once that fog broke, the affection between Jalal and Nigar was cathartic to witness.

The Atifa plot took Maham’s mess to a whole other level. Maham wanted Jalal dethroned. Sakina and Amanullah were prepared to kill him, which went beyond what Maham claimed she intended. Even within the conspiracy, there were different intentions layered over one another. Maham’s attachment to Jalal, resentment toward Jodha, lost authority, Adham, and the throne got highly tangled by then. That spoke volumes about how complicated Maham made her own mind and life. The perplexity in handling internal betrayals is that they seem to have no end. The brutality of experiencing and “solving” them is beyond comprehension.

Moving on, um, I do remember watching their journey toward children. I vaguely remember Salim as this tiny baby (in the teaser was so cute), all wrapped up, with this whole conversation around the kind of person he was going to become. Sheikh Salim Chishti tells Jalal that Salim will become famous, but that he will live through his "dil". This heart will become his strength and his weakness.

The thing is, once Jodha Akbar entered the “older” phase of their lives, there was no such “going back”. It crossed into another dimension of their life, their child. So the JA trajectory could be deviated (?). But then arrived Laboni. Considering the character and actor sides at once, this was one of those times asking for a ridiculously altered performance from Paridhi as Jodha. Once Laboni’s soul started possessing her body and interfering with her actions, Paridhi had Jodha and something aggressively non-Jodha running through the same person lol. That conflict between what was hers and what very much wasn’t hers was intense! And when Laboni was back in play yet again, it was like, oh well. Here we go. The suspense across those episodes was exhausting enough, but this persistent supernatural horror element was... interesting. Made it more versatile to watch.

I liked Salim and Anarkali being involved in getting Jodha out of it. Salim was aware and was there with Jalal as they struggled to find a way to free her. Salima tells Anarkali what is happening, and Anarkali agrees to draw the possessed Jodha away from her room so they can put the protective ash there. She said she’ll do it at the risk of her life. So they weren’t merely standing around the Laboni plot as the younger gen romance in their own world.

First of all, whoever came up with the music, especially the part right before the one and only exquisite “In Aankhon Mein Tum” begins, along with all its other forms and surrounding themes, deserves such applause. Something about it reaches much deeper than whatever is visibly happening in the scene. The background score across the serial was phenomenal, so let’s not stop at the song. The piano, the flute, the light-hearted pieces, the melancholy, those desolate stretches when everything feels emotionally spent. There’s a weight to all of it that I’m bound to embrace. And come on, there was practically a musical identity for every key turn of a scene. Its rarely patchwork.

Above even this is something that keeps pulling me back, i.e. the experience of living in an empire and, for Jalal, leading one. The intentions, behaviours, actions and choices of everyone occupy the air around that empire and travel further than the person they started with. Sooner or later, they reach the throne, and straight onto the emperor. Between cold and consumed, he was able to find the balance. Something deeply personal to one person can become political, dynastic, and quite dangerous once it travels that far.

Here we go with a deep chess game cutting through lines, scenarios, relationships, loyalties, and characters in full form. The horizon keeps opening until, and at some point, two people who once hardly knew how to read one another are able to talk without every exchange getting buried under assumptions. The styling, the brief pauses, the surroundings, and the way certain scenes breathe with inner voice as opposed to being carried by external talks, all of it was moving to watch. The liveliness came through the screen and straight to the heart. And the whole “history vs fiction” question, whether a moment belonged before some historical event, after it, happened differently, or never happened at all, will always leave question marks around the series. That’s also part of approaching it for what it is, where a historical drama takes big fictional liberties and uses a historical world as its backdrop. Its about navigating the subtleties.

Not sure if the series needed to stop earlier or if its ending point was fine as it was. Even if this ain’t a “wish it were longer” case, it’s worth embracing the fact that every great story, every life story, has an end, and seldom,  an earlier end is for the good. Years, decades, centuries pass, and that “something so good and gripping” won’t ever exit the picture. Thus, it ain’t just childhood or nostalgia doing the work.

https://video.wixstatic.com/video/359834_9a889a59430a4ee7a6687e3628724b19/1080p/mp4/file.mp4

17:31....Paused. Done for today. Oh my god. My brain. No time machine, not the past decade, not the previous centuries. History is bittersweet AHHHH. To return and live in the spirit of it, because the good, the bad and the ugly exist across all eras, so ya might as well experience…again. Actually, these hours were all about choosing, listening, and singing until Jodha Akbar got me to consider writing any. I was into digging more instrumentals and dreaming with them. A sneak peek to treasure. Bye for now^^. Once I get into the form again, I'll be back.

That is the visual journey so far. Phew. And hello! Some other writing took place !! A sneak peek:

Anyway, wishing y'all a great time🌌🌠✨️